Lameking.net

Hey I know you can microwave Tupperware for like 2 minutes.. but what if there’s a bat inside there?

My roommate who is into home and garden channel and watches sex in (or is it and? - who really cares anyway) the city decided to gut the inside of our house and do some remodeling. He also drinks sparking mineral water and goes on nature hikes so I like to make fun of him a lot, but it’s fine because he dosen’t know I’m doing it.

The thing is on TV remodeling is also done within about 20 minutes, 30 with commercial breaks and what’s not seen is an entire army of people working behind the scenes around the clock to finish in say, a week. Each day I come home the house gets worse and worse. Hopefully today I’ll come home and there will still be a door. Yesterday, we were without water for the evening as the plumbing was “accidentally” shut off. My roommate, like a used car salesman, assures me the end justifies the means and the new remodel will be “great”.

If “great” means I’ll be able to watch and watch TV again on a couch instead of sitting on a bucket of paint then I’m all for it.

I also watched a show on TV (Power still works, thank God) about young Princes/Princesses who are so rich they have diamonds embedded onto fake eyelashes. On a related note, since our bathroom plumbing is questionable for the weekend I’ll be peeing in empty milk jug bottles and eating Carls Jr because it’s across the street.

Check it out, Curtis gets about 20 miles per bail of hay and jug of water. Refueling takes place a few times an hour with like, an apple or carrot. Answers to simple voice commands. I can tie him up outside of my office by the bike rack with some rope and use him to lure women over to pet him. Kiss my ass EXXON!!!1

Description as noted on the site: As cute little Henessy sat on the floor, her throat was drilled into by his big d!ck. He plunged himself deeply down her throat while she choked it down! Henessy sucked him off while gagging on his big meat and her makeup ran down her face as her eyes welled up with tears! But she loved getting her throat penetrated by such a huge d!ck and swallowed his XxX!

http://www.xvideos.com/video31343/Henessy_at_Young_Throats

My commentary: Tears and vomit go hand in hand with good porn. My only gripe is I only get to see 4 minutes of this treasure. I don’t have anymore time to devote to this wonderful post, I have a pot of tea on the stove and I bought this little whistle attachment so when the water is boiling it makes a funny chicken noise. Special Bonus link: http://www.xvideos.com/video19643/Sandy_-_The_Sweet_Smile_Fuck !

Cluck Cluck Cluck

I’m really pissed off for a few reasons. One of them being the cost of gas in this country and everyone bitching about the cost of gas in this country and then the media talking about how people are bitching about gas in this country. I’m at the point where I’m over it now. Gas is like eating birthday cake, when there’s a whole cake sitting there at a birthday party and everyone is full, the cost of the birthday cake is very cheap.

As fat people get there the slices dwindle and the last few pieces are valued at a premium. Think of gasoline like cake, we’re past the point as a society in which there is more than enough cake to go around (And feed some to the dog too), so we’re going to pay a lot of money for the last few slices. Get over this, the cake is not going to magically regenerate, we have to switch deserts and start eating frozen yogurt and rice krispy treats. Buy a fucking hybrid already.Throw that bullshit in with the fact that I can’t read digg.com or any other bullshit social media site without getting pissed off about how someone is getting ripped off, some insanely stupid law somewhere is imprisoning some 14 year old kid in Ireland for babysitting a goat and everyone is at arms but can’t do anything because the 1 person that’s the alibi was detained at her house due to some freak cougar attack and THEN on the way her car got hit by a tornado.

Also, Fox News is complete bullshit. Do not believe anything you see/read/hear on that mockery of a television show. That channel is geared towards people too stupid to draw their own logical conclusions based on a series of events. If I have crumbs all over my face and chocolate smeared on my lips while guzzling milk, it’s safe to assume that I ate the tray of cookies. Fox news will tell you that some elite conspiracy cell did it operating under the guise of religion while running their chain of operations and commands from a series of underground caves in the foothills of a remote part of an island yet to be discovered (But it’s rumored to have to). Then they’ll show you pictures of some idiot in the corn belt waving his flag making 9$ per hour. RAD.

Another thing I really hate are female radio disk jockeys. I’d rather sit in my room and slit my wrists and listen to cats being tossed into food processors than listening to early morning radio commentary about some “hot must see band” that’s completely bullshit. No thanks.